EVEN JESUS PARTIES AT CHRISTMAS TIME!


HAPPY HOLIDAYS YOU LITTLE PUKES <3 FROM THE BIGGEST PUKE OF THEM ALL

PYRAMID/EYE/PYRAMID/LIGHT



i want a little shop of curiosities (curios?) and i want a fine collection of mystical ALL SEEING EYE pyramids.. 

SMALL TIME ADVENTURING (the second)

let's be honest. adventuring is the fucking best and you know it.

we can all pretend that tv, dry feet, food and the internet is where it's at but really, underneath it all, we just want to be face painted mad men running through the forest with home made spears and a wholelotta reckless abandon.

i remember being a little baby shit head and playing in the forest FOR HOURS. i remember spending whole days waist deep in boggy ponds catching frogs. afternoons building blinds and having wild dreams of them one day being overgrown caves that i could live in. seriously magical shit.

i've decided that i would like more of that and less of that other stuff (like, come on -- who needs food OR the internet -- BO-RING)... anyways at the moment my adventuring has been confined to the ol' concrete jungle but hey - you gotta start somewhere... but i just found face paints in my bathroom so shits gunna get wild p-r-e-t-t-y soon.

enjoy some pictures of a recent day to night adventuring, in the exotic region of hastings sunrise.






continual sleep over sleep no sleep

brain damage damaged goods

it's ok

sometimes we fight fire with fire

because we're looking for some light and that burning desire

burning the candles until they go out

letting them smoke

trying to quit

improved health, internal external benefits

less instant gratification

old photo albums/new joy and/or the same joy as always?

my machine is constantly in motion

and i'm getting tired

VANDALIZE YOUR OWN PROPERTY


i'm not complaining. i like graffiti and all but i like how this looks too. it's funny though. hastily painted blotches of mismatched colours... is that better, worse or just the same as having graffiti all up onz?

GRAFFITO TAGGING



there's stories about all of these but i'm feeling boring right now so i'll let you choose your own adventure.
i'm just a character

inside this dialogue

i'm just a

work

of

fiction

a poorly written m-o-n-o-l-o-g-u-e
spent a long day sleeping on a big clean hard white bed with dirty remarks carved in the wall beside my pillow and the beat yellow windowshades pulled over the smoky scene of the railyards. i woke up as the sun was reddening; and that was the one distinct time in my life, the strangest moment of all, when i didn't know who i was--i was far away from home, haunted and tired with travel, in a cheap hotel room i'd never seen, hearing the hiss of steam outside, and the creak of the old wood of the hotel, and the footsteps upstairs, and all the sad sounds, and i looked at the cracked high ceiling and really didn't know who i was for about fifteen strange seconds. i wasn't scared; i was just somebody else, some stranger, and my whole life was a haunted life, the life of a ghost. i was halfway across america, at the dividing line between the east of my youth and the west of my future, and maybe that's why it happened right there and then, that strange red afternoon.

THE OTHER OTHER SICKLES




this shit was like dark lord cthulhu

nature is freaky sometimes. but i like that.
WIENERS AND BEANS KD

oh. ya. we got supplies

got some fucking wieners
got some beeeers
got some butter

don't you need milk for this shit?

yes.. we got a little milk

SPIRALS got some fucking spirals.

"when i was a little kid i loved spirals so much that i wouldn't even chew them, i would just swallow them whole.. but it hurts your throat.. and your stomach.. and your poop"

making KD with sammy and kurty

good sunday

BOOTS AND BIRDS

MY ONGOING LOVE AFFAIR WITH BROKEN GLASS

last night i was standing on the sidewalk outside of the railway club and a broken window fell down from the heavens and smashed on top of my head.

the railway is a second floor bar so that broken glass fell pretty far before making contact with my little bean... i feel like i should feel lucky that my head wasn't sliced open..

should i feel lucky? is that the type of thing that could really hurt a person? i feel pretty weird today. a little wonky.

come to think of it. i have quite a few crazy stories involving me + broken glass..  one time i accidentally pushed a millionaire through a window! OOPS.

you were the promise at dawn I was the morning after
you were JESUS CHRIST MY LORD I was the money lender
you were the sensitive woman I was the very reverend FREUD
you were the manual orgasm I was the dirty little boy
and is that what you wanted to live in a house that is haunted by the ghost of you and me?

you were MARLON BRANDO I was STEVE McQUEEN
you were K.Y. JELLY I was VASELINE
you were the father of modern medicine I was MR. CLEAN
you were the whore and the beast of Babylon I was rin tin tin
and is this what you wanted to live in a house that is haunted by the ghost of you and me?

you got old and wrinkled I stayed seventeen
you lusted after so many I lay here with one
you defied your solitude I came through alone
you said you could never love me I undid your gown
and is this what you wanted to live in a house that is haunted by the ghost of you and me?
I mean is this what you wanted
That’s right is this what you wanted


THE TOUGHEST GIRL I KNOW THAT HAS EVER LIVED


i know a wonderful wonderful girl. a girl named sarah davies. i've known her for a very very long time.


she makes me laugh in that kind of way, where it becomes painful and although you don't want the lols to stop you need them to stop otherwise you may 1) die or worse 2) piss yourself. but she's also definitely made me cry before (as evidence, a to-this-day laughed about family joke involving me needing to wear a helmet called the LIL JAMMER if i'm going to play with sarah).


(ok on a side note i have to tell you about this helmet.. i think it belonged to the davies and it was definitely from the 80's.. it was white with all kinds of fun graphics puked all over it... it said LIL JAMMER on it.. in some jazzy font.. i think in hot pink.... it's the most ridiculous thing you've ever seen (thanks to the 80's) and seriously isn't lil' jammin the opposite of what you want to do with your head? even if you are wearing a helmet? was this helmet encouraging me to put my head under a moving tracker wheel? or get it stuck between a wall and a parked car? who thought calling a helmet the LIL JAMMER was a good idea? i guess the 80's was a pretty crazy time..)


ANYWAYS.. the point is sarah has always been this tough as nails, wonderfully boisterous, can-do-will-do type of girl.. and probably the only girl.. or possibly person who would sit through 3 hours of impounded wisdom tooth removal (all 4) without anything more than bullshit local freezing that didn't work.


most people, upon realizing that the freezing wasn't working would have pulled the plug, like ASAFP.. you know in like the first ohhhhh 7 minutes.


but sarah is tough. not pretend girl tough, not pretend guido tough, actually tougher than everybody including jesus. she sat through the whole goddamn thing and even after like 2 hours and a million failed needles of freezing, when the dentist finally offered to stop and finish up on a different day, sarah said this:


"just. fucking. finish."


...


how did she not pass out? how did she let those motherfuckers get anywhere near her with the pliers and drills, sledges and dynamite needed to mine those fucking diamonds? sarah sat through it like the friggin all star tough guy she is cause she's actually made out of what heroes are made out of. she's the type of lady who's probably going to rescue families and animals from disasters some day. sarah definitely inspires me to be less of a panty-waisted sissy cupcake... also have i mentioned what a crippling babe she is?


anyways anyways anyways. the real point of all of this is to say: i adore sarah and love that we've been friends for so long and that we've been having some really good times lately.  The other weekend we decided to get tough guy tattoos... naturally sarah sat through it as casually as you'd sit through a pedicure. enjoy some pictures!










MTHRFCKNG-BEACH BUM



two days in a row with this stuff. geez. ok for one, this isn't even fare. fucking kitten rolling around in the warm sand with no worries in the world. and for two, tabby tan? cats wearing sunscreen? i don't buy it. straight up this should be me.. cats probably don't even like sand. ok, and you know what? it's november and its minus 20 outside. thanks a lot for bringing this shirt in while vancouver is posing as the arctic. i want to own this shirt but i can't take it, so i can't buy it.


ok and you know what else? the more i think about this shirt and stare at this picture.... the more i realize that it's a complete fucking anomaly.

this is a grandma graphic on a little crop cut fucking knotted trim "101 DIY tshirt design" bullshit top....

and i don't think a gramstein who'd be into the idea of a kitten "beach bum" would also be into exposing that much skin...  MUTUALLY EXCLUSIVE.

so other than me and maybe three of my kitten obsessed friends.. who was this shirt made for?

CATS ARE LOL FACTORIES. DEAL WITH IT.



wow, right? fun times brought to you by CATS.
i am really stoked to jam tonight. that's a good feeling.

MAR EDITION

 just a few things i thought mar would like... i really really really love the monkey.





SMALL TIME ADVENTURES

KURTIS AND I WALKING HOME FROM THE NARROW LATE LATE LATE AT NIGHT FOUND THIS GATE AND THOUGHT THAT IT WAS PRETTY NEAT SO HE THREW SOME GANG SIGNS IN FRONT OF IT. AND THEN I ACCIDENTALLY LOCKED MY FRIEND, WHO WAS CRASHING WITH US, OUT OF THE HOUSE AND SHE HAD TO SLEEP IN HER CAR.

I WISH THIS WASN'T BLURRY.. BUT I REALLY LIKE HOW THE DRIPPY PAINT LOOKS. RIGHT?

OK HOW FUCKED IS THIS? THIS WAS HANGING IN A BEAUTY SALONS WINDOW. AND IT WAS BIG. I LIKE PEE WEE AND ALL BUT HOW WEIRD IS THIS?
going to sell all my things

going to quit all my things

going to run away

one shirt

one sweater

one jacket

one boots

one jeans

one socks

one undergarments

one hat

one bandanna

break my phone

lose my wallet

maybe one pair of gloves with the fingers cut off

oh oh oh i only carry cash now

oh me my i don't believe in banks

just rivers and mountains and valleys and oceans

just street lights and street signs and empty bars and dumpsters

just painting and writing and drawing and cursing

no more keys. no more mompajomps.

please for the love of christ

shut off my brain
drinking so much coffee again. my ears do this weird thing and i think its from caffeine. is that even possible?

laying in bed

listening to records

laying in bed

watching bob dylan being a jerk

umm well not really a jerk but just being the fucking weirdest dude.

he seems really confused a lot of the time. other people have funny things to say about him.

my brain is a rambling man.

my brain is shitty

i no longer know how to use it

my brain is a degenerate

disintegration

too much bleach

this structure has lost its integrity

no need for bombs or machines

it will collapse by itself

on its own

THE SADDEST LIVING ROOM

one of my most favorite things is finding other peoples personal stuff.. stuff they've forgotten about.. stuff they've thrown out.. stuff i've found in their bathroom and dresser drawers.. you know.....

SO ANYWAYS the other day i found this wonderful collection of stuff beside some porta potties, in the wettest grass, early in the morning, on the side of the road. and let me tell you, it was a superjackpot.

here are some pictures that prove what a gift this was.. all i can say is WHAT LUCK.




these pictures are from this little photobook that exclusively have pictures of dogs and other animal friends.. oh and that guy.





SEE WHAT I MEAN? it was all so amazing i almost felt like i was being PUNK'D