NO REST FOR THE WICKED

and no new blogpost for you

SOON

xx

FUN UPDATE

alright, alright... so here's a funny thing to add to my last post..

apparently when Jess asked me where the envelope of $$ was, when she was double checking that i hadn't lost it.. i yelled at her:

"WHY ARE YOU TESTING ME RIGHT NOW?"

haha ahhhh ya... so there you go.. as if that whole thing wasn't ridiculous enough...

what a JOKER i am eh? just a big dingus!

LEGS WILL LOSE YOUR WALLET

SO

i had my first solo show last night.

i am so grateful for, and stoked on my friends, family and everything that went down last night.

i am the luckiest girl and cannot even explain how much LOVE i have for everyone... just the most beautiful people. ever.

as promised i had fried chickens and did some beer shotgunning. also: successfully broke my own heart, secretly cried onstage.... but also had some good laughs.

my super wonderful Dead Voices band mates kurtis and dan were there and sang along to the songs they knew.. which just made me the happiest little goomba (srsly how nice is that?).. kurtis also stepped in as my official beer tech - as i am completely incapable of making a shot gun hole in a beer can. just not a skill i possess..

i honestly can't even believe all the friends, from different circles, that came out last night. i am MOVED.

NOW..

i'll tell you. i was nervous to play. because of this i was very all over the map (more so than usual). i was supreme super epic scatter brain. i lost my wallet TWO times last night. and again this morning. but the funniest thing was losing my envelope of showmonies......

so jessica 'handj' sands my lovely friend, who put the show together, had, earlier in the night decided to hold on to my $$ since i was being a complete savage... she knew had i gotten the $$ i would have probably:

a) lost envelope immediately upon receiving
b) lost envelope within 45 seconds of receiving

WELL

at the end of the night, after Jess drove ol wobblepops legs home, she finally handed over the money... she thought there was no way i could fuck up THAT BAD and lose the money in 50 steps.

WELL

i proved her so wrong.

infront of the gate, before parting ways she stopped me and asked:

"OK ALLIE, where's the money?"

and i said:

"HAHA... comeon! It's riiiiiiggghhttt here in my pock---..... (nervous laugh)... (silent panic)... fuck"

i had reached into the pocket i had (literally) just put it in and found NOTHING.

like.. actually? actually? seriously? how ridiculous is that? how adept am i and being a complete space case loser money loser...  just should write HOW TO books on that shit..

SO

we started retracing our steps and half way down the alley we spotted it... this sad lonely crumpled envelope just chillin in the street light waiting for some lucky hobo.

T-H-A-N-K-C-H-R-I-S-T for JSANDS. i laughed to myself so much today thinking about what a joker i was last night.. just losing everything (mind included!)... and how happy i am that jess was around to help me out. super bonus plus to my life knowing that little button. SRSLY.

anywaysENJOY THESE PICTURES OF JESS BEING LIKE "REALLY? REALLY ALLIE? DID YOU ACTUALLY GO WITH OPTION A? HAD YOU WAITED 45 SECONDS IT WOULD HAVE AT LEAST FALLEN INTO YOUR HALLWAY"


JUST KILLING IT!




THIS GUY SLAYS ME. HOW COOL IS THIS SHIT? FOREVER AND ALWAYS RLX

FAKE MAGIC (beer magic)

so the same night that i found those hearts for mar i had myself a nice wonky late night 'everything is magical' walk home. i went to mcdonalds by myself and it was so late (early) that i could no longer get fries with my (cold) chicken nuggets and instead had to have a hashbrown puck. an old man and a cab driver tried to 'pick me up' and not in a nice way (i don't think). in a way the reminded me that: when a young lady walks the streets, alone, late at night/early in the morning, you are likely a hooker. sorry sir cab and wrinkly hands for confusing you.

anyways. i had enjoyed some yum beers earlier in the night and had some nice hangs with lovely people so i was feeling all amped and OK.. so as i wondered home (and let me tell you - i wondered the fuck out of myself.. just walking SO slowly) i kept seeing things that were blowing my peabrain mind. probably things like: a shadow, some garbage, a tag, parked cars, some more garbage... etc etc etc... cause in the morning all i had to show for the 'amazing' things i saw was a picture of lights in a sidewalk construction tunnel. SO if you ever had any doubts that my brain was complete shit, wonder NO MORE.. BEHOLD, ALL IT TAKES TO BLOW MY MIND:

HEARTS



my beautiful and wonderfully talented friend Mar is collecting heart pics for her blog: http://www.mahrolovesyou.blogspot.com/.. Whenever I'm out and about i look for hearts for her (mar - you of coarse don't know this because i've failed at sending you any pics......) i found these the other night while i was stumbling around town... just for you little m! <3

UM YES


HOW AMAZING IS THIS? HOW TRUE IS THIS? HOW STOKED AM I?

COCKANDLOLS

just got home from un concerto. not gunna say who but this is what i thought about it:


and bonus: this was conveniently located directly outside the venue!

also.

the show wasn't all that bad. i'm just having a lol (it's late OK)

the show wasn't completely terrible but it wasn't great either.

Marie described the show perfectly:

"it's like a band of dead-beat dads who've brought their new-age taro card reading girlfriends along"

bang-fucking-on

DEADMOUSE/USEDCONDOM

so in my ROADKILLS post from the other day i mentioned the deadmouse/usedcondom that was outside my work for ages. well, like i said, the mouse is long disintegrated but the condom is still kind of chillin. it just hangs around to taunt me and remind me of my failure in capturing what could have been the greatest picture ever taken. with an iphone. by a girl. in an alley. on a sunday. whatever. 



ALEX-MOTHERFUCKING-G



this cock sucker is E-V-E-R-Y-W-H-E-R-E.. seriously.. he's probably tagged your car and your mom.. so just watch out.. also, Alex G.. are you 12? are you always drunk? are you right handed but do your tag with your left hand, just to add some 'flavor'? this isn't even really a tag.. it's like the frustrated scribblings of some kind of elementary school drop out who's never actually seen the letter E.

GOOD BAD NOT EVIL

Latest tracks by CIGARETTE LEGS

so this is my solo stuff... more to come.... i posted the lyrics to the song "there's a sadness in my heart" the other day... so now it's kind of cool to be able to hear the song? i'm going to pretend like it's cool for you cause that makes me feel good, and i need a bit of that right now.

the other day when i posted the lyrics it was because i was trying to put off finishing the song... and blogging is just the most effective way to kill time...  you maybe thought i was being all intimate and sharing but really i was just using you! you were just a pawn in my game of procrastination! ok i'm really starting to not make sense..

.. i was just kidding about using you.. i might be bad but i'm good bad - not evil.

KITTENS VS. FEELINGS

kittens are way more fun than feelings. i think i'm going to stop this blog and just concentrate on kittens.

also

losing my mind

also also

finished that song and recorded it

tried posting it this morning but it was giving me trouble (well i guess the internet was giving me trouble) and it didn't work. but i messed around with it for long enough to make me significantly late for work. now im taking it all as a sign... i wasn't happy with the recording anyways...

i'll re-record tonight and hopefully be able to post it later on.

i think i'm getting more and more boring..
im in a state

and the lines are blurring

i'm tired of myself and my feelings

i would like to

1.
2. do #1

just the worst.

im over it
over it
over over
over
it

but totally not over it at all.

FML

THERE'S A SADNESS IN MY HEART

i've been working all day on finishing songs i've had half written for ages. i have so many half finished songs that whenever i hit the inevitable roadblock in one, i start to just cycle through all the bits and pieces of the other songs until i've wasted enough time to feel like i deserve a break.  breaks usually consist of cruising the internet. getting a snack. heating up old coffee. searching for good kitten pictures... blogging... you know.. really good stuff.

i've made a list of all my half finished songs. and this morning i chose one of them to work on. the song is called 'there's a sadness in my heart'.. which is kind of a long title.. and maybe should change.. but i'll worry about that later (thumbs up to putting things off, yessssss)

these are the lyrics i have so far:
------------------------------------------------
there's a sadness in my heart
it trickles down my spine
it burns a hole right through my chest
onto the other side

now it's living in my lungs
it's building it's home there
and with every single breath i take
(insert brilliant line that rhymes with 'there') <-- i worked on this section of the song for like an hour and came up with a bunch of bad ideas.. got discouraged and, naturally started playing through other songs instead. 

we're living on the devils land
we're planting our crops there
we're drinking down his poison
we're drinking from his well

but any night in summer
once that golden sun has set
he'll take you hand in dance
and boy, he'll help you to forget you're singing

so if you see him riding in the setting sun
and if you feel it hiding in your lungs
ask yourself if dying sounds like fun
cause you can only forget your troubles for so long
until they're all you got and you're left singing their song
------------------------------------------------

so that's what i've got so far... and if i can keep myself from getting too distracted (read: facebooking) than maybe i'll actually finish it today. THAT WOULD BE A MIRACLE

sorry this was actually the most boring post ever. this post was me wasting time and in turn wasting your time. sorry. 

KITTY KITTY KITTY KITTENS

NEW BLOG ALL ABOUT KITTENS AND HOW GREAT THEY ARE.

http://www.kittykittykittykittens.blogspot.com/

I THINK THIS WILL BE GOOD FOR ALL OF US. NEXT TIME YOU FEEL BUMMED OUT JUST CHECK OUT KITTY BLOG AND HAVE YOUR HEART WARMED BY THE FACE OF A SMALL LITTLE KITTEN. SERIOUSLY. I'M FEELING BETTER ALREADY!

ROADKILLS


a while ago i decided i wanted to start posting pictures of roadkills i saw (i know, i know - WTF)... i'll tell you.. the idea spawned from walking by a dead mouse/used condom, for weeks while on my way to work. they were just hanging out beside one another like the best of friends. i thought "what a ridiculous picture this would make. i should take a picture of this. one day i'll take a picture of this".

.. and one day i did infact decide to take that picture. but i had waited just a little too long and there wasn't much more left than a mostly disintegrated condom.

but from that point forward i decided i would take pictures of this type of thing... and just the other day i had my first opportunity. walking home, in the alleyway of my apartment, i found this sad little pigeon. but man oh man.. i'll tell you. its all fun and games to hate on pigeons when they are alive but when you see a dead one.. its not funny at all. its really sad and gross and completely heartbreaking. I'M SERIOUS. try it sometime and you'll know what i mean :( ... now, i know after reading that you're probably thinking:

"well then why the fuck did you take a picture of it, you asshat!"

but i was still thinking it would be a good thing to blog.. pictures of roadkills.. that sounds kind of good right? WRONG

as soon as i had the photo i got why it was just the worst idea ever.

anyways.. i held onto the picture and did nothing with it, other than sometimes think how fucked it was that i had pictures of a dead pigeon on my phone (does that make me a potential pathological killer?) but then connor was all like 'no its cool, look at the red in the picture it's cool, it looks good'... and i was like: "ya connor, the red.. its great.. i love how your eye is really drawn from my red boots to THE PIGEON GUTS"..

anyways. there ya go. my evil post... is it really all that bad? i don't really know... i don't even know how i feel about it. i do know that i won't be taking any more roadkill pictures...

but i am going to start another blog that is strictly dedicated to kittens. alive kittens. dont worry.

FUTURE BAD DECISION

oohhh--h--i--i----ohh--hi

i'm going to post something later today that isn't the best. i was going to post it last week but then decided that there was no way that i could actually do so. but then last night i was hanging with a friendy and he said that it was RADICAL. actually no he didn't say that cause connor doesn't use those kind of words. but basically, he gave me the go ahead.

i'm not prepared to post it quite yet so i'm just talking about it instead.. soften you up a little. make the ol' one-two of my future bad post not hit quite as hard (cause now you think i'm going to post something really horrendous.. when actually its just a picture of a kitten with a funny hat on)

FYI that last part wasn't true.

the kitten part

uhuhuhuhuhhhanyways

actually..

this brings up an interesting thought. you know when you're in the midst of making some kind of decision and one of your choices is obviously the WRONG choice.. orrrr maybe saying it's the wrong choice is too harsh.. but its the choice with maybe more consequences, or its more expensive, or its fattening or illegal...or WHATEVER.. but it's definitely the 'worse' choice.... but you already know that you're gunna choose it.. even though you say you are still 'trying to decide'... but you've fully made up your mind to go with eating ALL the donuts... isn't that twisted?

I feel like i could:

justify
anything

i play this fun game with myself when im pretending NOT to know what decision im going to make.... it goes like this:

1. find a nickel (preferred coin cause of the beaver)
2. flip the nickel
3. heads -> think with your head
4. tails -> be a savage

this is basically just a tactic to put off making the inevitable choice. cause letmetellyou if i get heads on the first flip. i move onto best of three. and if the score is still favouring logic, i tend to:

1. say 'fuck it'
2. wait five minutes doing final contemplation
3. move forward with bad decision making, continuing to say 'fuck it'

so this whole post is about my future saying of  'fuck it'?
did that make sense?
not really cause i'm saying fuck it now about the future bad post. right? so does that make the future bad post not a bad post at all?

ohhh no no no.. this is all starting to dissolve.
GYPSY FADE!

OLD BOOTS OLD BONES

OLD BOOTS OLD BONES by CIGARETTE LEGS

SO - I USUALLY MAKE NOISE WITH A BAND CALLED DEAD VOICES BUT SOMETIMES I MAKE NOISE ALL BY MYSELF. I'M PLAYING MY FIRST SOLO SHOW ON OCTOBER 19TH AND I. AM. TERRIFIED.

anyways...

i just made a myspace (i'm oh so techno-savvy..NOT) and uploaded a few songs.... you can check out my site
www.myspace.com/cigarettelegs

there is one other song posted there now.... but it's in the blog section cause the fucking music player on myspace hates me and isn't working....


anyways.. ENJOY :) and if you don't, don't tell me, cause i will cry. i'm not even joking.

xx

ONE TOOTH FASHION

a couple weeks ago i had this dream where part of my tooth fell out and my mouth started bleeding so hard that my eyeballs got all puffy.

last night i had a dream that kurtis had his hand in my mouth (weird) and was holding some of my teeth with his fingers and wouldn't let go and when i pulled away my teeth broke off in to his hand.

both were pretty bizarre and kind of awful.

tooth anxiety?

strange.

also... there is a store in vancouver called ONE TOOTH FASHION. it sells like lulu lemon style sports clothing... what i can't figure out is what having one tooth has to do with a) fashion and b) athletic clothing

maybe the owners had a lot of tooth dreams too.

x

GHOST BIKE

hiiiii..

i have really amazing friends...

a few of them made a ghost bike memorial for Dan (it's up at 8th and Quebec) and they just did an interview this morning on CBC about it....

http://www.cbc.ca/earlyedition/

<3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3

HAPPY LINKS

daddoo sent this to me today. it's wonderful. you should read.
http://blog.frankchimero.com/post/1197416672/more-happiness

bb sent this to me today. it's funny and sad and reminds me of being a silly little kid. you should read.
http://25.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_l9s1i1fnSv1qzodixo1_400.jpg

that's nice that i got these both today. i like that. i like when things happen simultaneously that are kind of connected. my last wednesday was like that too. weird.

i don't need lunch i just need blog.

xox

oh also i just did spell check and i actually got the spelling of simultaneously right on the first try.. which is amazing. i just amazed myself (doesn't take much) but I'M SURE i've used it incorrectly... can't win em all.

RELAX!




aaron found these yesterday and sent me these pics... this guy is killing it! just so awesome... anyways.. since i posted about RLX a lot of people have mentioned that they've seen his tags around - if you do take a picture and send it to me and i'll post it up! I'd love to post as many as possible! 

send to cigarettelegs@gmail.com
xxxxxxxx

ONE TRICK PONY

ok

so here's the thing

sometimes i make funny jokes (read: i make one semi-funny-mostly-cute-but-actually-mostly-dumb joke <--note singular) and sometimes i say outrageous thingss... and sometimes i get super heavy and talk about LIFE and ENERGY and PHILOSOPHY (read: drunk ramblings about why clouds are so epic and what it might all mean (but usually not drunk at all which is kind of the worst part)).. and if you've only hung out with me 3 times then it all seems pretty NEAT. but then you get to the like 4th and 5th hang outs with me and you start to realize this:

i (allie)

only

have

7 1/2 things to talk about

ever.

and by the time we've hung out 6 times and you've heard my stories 1.2 million times it all starts seeming a lot less NEAT and a lot more GAY.

but OH WELL you can stop reading anytime (butsrslyplsdont).

SO i'm here today to talk to you about something that i've probably already talked to you about. something we probably have had a good conversation about once (and 400 subsequent less good, completely fucking boring (for you) conversations), and if not then obviously i've only hung out with you 3 times and i haven't yet used up all my MATERIALS...

-----------a---n---y------w---a--y---sss---andbegin:

i need you to think about this: think of a time (probably as a youth) when you started feeling like you pretty much had it figured out. you had your little fucking stylez going on, you had some groovy friends, your hobbies, your favourite bands, the players in the bands that were like godsss..  maybe you even had real gods.. who knows.. but you had your IDEAS (and the ideas, my friends, are the worst part)....

now you probably cruised like that for a while and then, naturally, some things slowly started to change. (the GRADUAL evolution is, i swear to christ, a cushion provided to us, by the universe, so that we're not all running around with exploding hearts and pants FULL of shit - but more on that some other time)... NOW:

once you've had the experience of moderate self-assurance and an OKAYNESS with oneself/current set of beliefs you get to enjoy this other fun (and i mean fun) experience:

reflection

BAMO

and then you get to have this thought:

"what the fuck. was. i. thinking. ? ! ?"


i hope you're reminiscing right now about yourself as a wiry weird little puke with a bad haircut and worse opinions and thinking HA HA HA ... or maybe you're thinking :-/ or maybe even this :*(  but it's kind of fun right? its funny. well eventually its funny. it does take enough space before it starts being funny.

(causeonasidenote: sometimes if there isn't enough space between you now and the you you're thinking about then its just reallly uncomfortable and kind of sickening.. like finding porn when you're just a little too young to understand and knowing that its bad but not really getting it and then for days feeling like you're going to barf and getting hot and cold flashes and having crushing panic attacks.. its that type of embarrassing pain that you hold deep inside cause its just too real...) BUT IF THERE IS ENOUGH SPACE..

then its a really funny thing to think about and a wonderful thing to share with other people. cause we probably all sucked equally as teenagers. actually, i know we all sucked the same, cause teenagers suck... it doesn't matter how cool or uncool we were as squirts, we sucked. and the best part is that we had no idea how badly we all sucked.. it's actually a funny joke:

joke: teenagers suck

punchline: if you are a teenager you do not posses the ability to understand your inherent suckiness

no.. it's not until much later, after a lot of space and some more gradual evolution that you are granted the gift of knowledge (knowledge of teenage suckiness) but by then its totally ok. it's not pornographic. you take comfort in knowing that everyone was silly then and that you're no longer that person. so it's O K.

now...............

it's one thing to think about your poor choices as a teenager (we all get at least one 'get out of jail free' card, cause really - we couldn't help it) but if you start thinking about more recent history - and i'm not quite talking barfy porno history - but like yourself in the last five years... then things start getting a little crazy.  you start getting that feeling of: i thought that i got it then - but now i get, that i didn't get it at all - cause, i get it now and its totally not what i was getting back then.  right?

so what changes? what does it take to crush the certainty you felt AT THE TIME. to completely envelop the thoughts and beliefs you rolled around with. THE IDEAS. you were so sure. you can remember feeling so sure about those things and yet, now, all you can do is look down on those ideas and think. what the fuck was i thinking. and ya sometimes its funny but its also kind of sad and scary.

cause whats gunna happen now? what's it gunna take now? what's it gunna take to make the you now just like all those other yous..

think about it. it's gunna happen. slowly, yeah, but surely. and i'm not sure if that's fucked or awesome.

i feel pretty O K with myself right now. but i don't need to look back very far to find things that make me shake my head. and even though i feel like every day i 'get it' a little more and a little better, chances are i don't, cause i remember having the same feeling of 'i understand' when i was 12.

and you know what? i can look back at being a teenager and laugh about it and make so much fun of it and write rude blog entries about how much teenagers unanimously suck.. but when i'm no longer in my 20's i'm going to definitely look back on myself and say this:

i was shitty, we were all equally as shitty, cause all 20-somethings are shitty.






and there are so many days, more than i can fucking count (cause i can only count to 7.5 apparently) that i'd WAY rather suck than be shitty.


and i think about that a lot.

HEALTHY LIVING

i wish that i could live off of

1. sapporo itchiban (sp? whatever.. you know what i mean.. chicken flavour)
2. coca cola (in a can pls)

would that not be the best?

also

i ate mcdonalds last night

and at the time is was the best thing ever... but then like 7 minutes after being finished i started feeling pretty bummed out. like waking up in the morning and being like "FUCK, did i dance last night? chrisssttttt" but with food.

also - you should know

that when i dance

i wake up the next morning

and am like

"FUCK, did i dance last night? chrisssttttt" while putting my face in my hands in HORROR.

so now you know im the same way about mcdonalds.

ANYWAYS.... boring

xxxxxx (i send those to my guts, since they have to deal with the garbage i sometimes put down there...)

SKIN FUNERAL FOR REAL

well i finally stopped being a complete sissy and got a tough guy tattoo.

i'm still mostly a sissy. don't worry. i know it would be no fun if i was all tough. its really the most fun pretending to be tough and then actually being a kitten. 90 pounds of 'fuck you'? no more like 110 pounds of used kleenex (NOT in a sexy way)

anyways.. after having an amazing night at the arcade fire a few of us savages decided to do tattoos... originally kurt and i were going to get our matching parent tattoos (we're too cute RIGHT?) we were going to get our parents initials... but we couldn't figure it out quite right.. so decided to wait... then we talked about doing brother/sister tattoos.. but also couldn't figure that out.. (you'll notice i have shitty pen all over my hands in the pictures.. cause i was testing out all kinds of GREAT ideas...)

ANYWAYS.. i was determined to stop being the little idiot that always talked about stick and pokes, walked around with pen covered hands, but had absolutely ZERO to show for it... SO i went with something i've been kicking around (read: drawing on my hand) for the last little while.  i'm super in love with it and am so happy about the slight increase in my toughness level... ALSO my friend kortnay let sam and i draw on her and then she got the drawings tattooed (she is legit tough, lemmetellyou)....

SO HERE YOU GO, JUDGE AWAY (also - i know that it doesn't look very clean in the pictures ((which i actually think is funny)) but i assure you we were being safe and not being dum dums about it.. K? believe me?

thank you kurtis, kortnay, sam and michael for sharing in this very special night. i am actually pretty impressed with myself.. if you know me, you know that i cry when i dye my hair and get overwhelmed ordering food at restaurants.. so this is a pretty major stepping stone towards me not totally sucking at life.


me entering a world of pain (but not really...cause im so tough... but writing that has made me wanna watch the big lebowski)



there you go kids. the all seeing eye triangle (haha minus the eye) and relax...

the most stoked.. haha

just the cleanest table you've ever seen

i drew this heart on kort-yay's fingy.. and now its there forever! sorry little k! haha hope you love it!

before kort when in for round two

the final works or art :) thanks michael, you're good at this, srsly!

yes, i know.. i got street art tattooed onto my body for life.. but its only been two days and this little fucker has already helped me to chill outt... its the best advice and i'm so happy i keep it close at hand (HAHA IM SUPER FUNNY)